still here

Just dropping by to say i'm still here. I'm sorry I have been such a lazy blogger. Just waiting for AF to arrive and then will be doing another FET- hopefully starting next week.... This time i'm pushing to try a natural cycle instead of HRT.

The last month in dot points

• 9 year wedding anniversary -celebrated at a yummy French Restaurant
• Been getting lots of hours at work - a huge blessing!! I thought they were going to cut them right back.
• Enjoying being in our new house
• Lots of TTC the good old fashioned way - Peed on lots of OPK's and checking of CM religiously- just like in the old days :-) Slightly delusional but miracles do happen and it was fun :-)

Things do this month

• weed the garden
• mulch the garden
• plant some veggies
• walk more so hopefully I can squeeze into my bridesmaids dress in October

Hope you have a great Weekend!

Not this time....

Beta confirmed what I already knew. I'm not pregnant anymore. Wednesday was so absolutley aweful - imagine AF x10 that my instincts told me that was it. I had massive clots which totally shocked me. So far i've been bleeding for 11 days. Not sure when to do next FET, I have to go back next week for a BT to see if HCG is back to Zero.

I am actually doing ok now. Physically I feel so much better! Now that I have had confirmation I can get on with things. It's the waiting and not knowing that was so hard. I'm so glad the cramps are over - I remember lying in bed and thinking that it felt like someone was twisting a hot poker around my uterus. Slightly melodramatic i know :-)

I have heard 'at least you know you can pregnant now' so many times this week. I'm happy that I got those 2 blue lines, but wish people wouldn't say that - it doesn't make me feel better.

I have 4 more little frosties- they are my hope now...

update

Yesterday beta went up to 1658 (good)

progesterone went up to 32.5 (a bit better)

Bleeding and bad cramping has continued. I have all the symptoms of a miscarriage and passed some tissue last night. I still have hope but in my heart i'm also thinking it's over-this is what everything on Dr google seems to suggest. Bleeding in early pregnancy seems to be ok but the severe cramping is not a good sign at all. The 5 days of cramps has been the hardest part, but DrC said I can take panadeine for the pain. I was a bit worried about taking anything but it got to the point where I had to. Now I have to wait until Friday for another bloodtest. The clinic said to call if there was any changes, so i'll see how today goes.

I'm doing ok, well at the moment anyway :-) I have shed lots of tears shed but also know it's out of my control. I'm trying to remain positive but at the same time be realistic...On the positive side I felt pregnant for about a day, that's more than I ever had before.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! You are in my thoughts and prayers too!

beta update

yesterday I had a second beta - good news is that it is now 800 and something. Which is a good number. But my progesterone is still low- was 20 and now is 18, and the bleeding and cramps continues. I'm so thankful for a rising beta but it's still a waiting game. Next Beta is Tuesday.

Thanks for your words of support. I haven't been very a very good commenter lately but will catch up soon. The clinic told me to take tomorrow off work and rest, so I can catch up then :) My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Hope you are all having a good weekends!

what happening?

Thanks for all your comments! Sadly instead of feeling happy and hopeful, right now i'm terrified that this pregnancy might be over. For the last few days i've had brownish pink spotting but last night it got worse. I woke up with the most painful cramps and have had bad cramps ever since and brighter red bleeding. I called the clinic and they said to come in tomorrow morning for another beta. Apparently my progesterone was quite low on Wednesday and that's why they upped my dose. I don't know what's happening. I'm scared and thinking the worse. I know that lots of people bleed in their early pregnancy but i'm in so pain, much worse that when I get AF.

At the moment i'm going out of my mind not knowing - at least tomorrow i'll know where we stand with it all.

What a positive day!

This time I did not POAS at all - I waited until today for my Beta. I wanted to write a nice long post about my day, but i'm not much of a writer, so will just get straight to the point :-)

Great news - I'm PREGNANT!!!! :-) :-) Beta was good and then I came home from work this afternoon and POAS just for fun!

My HCG is over 100 - I can't remember if it was 116 or 160 - I was in a bit of a daze at the time and standing in a toilet stall at work. I had to sneak off for a toilet break so that I could call the clinic, as I can't take calls during my shift.

I will call back tomorrow and go over the details again. The nurse said they were good numbers.

Now for the worrying part....I have had some brownish,pinkish bleeding/spotting. I had some yesterday that went away but then it came back again late this afternoon. I'm not sure what it means - I hope it's from implantation.

I go back in 1 week for Beta #2. How will I wait that long? I'll be peeing on lots of sticks!

Thanks for all the comments - they really helped me get through this week!

I'm still in shock it doesn't seem real yet...

PUPO

Waiting for FET - we decided to do a bit of a photo shoot :-)

2 blasts on board!!

Now the wait!

Please God let this work!